Tough, huh?!

Aza: I'm a big boy, and you're a little girl..

Kyra: Yeah.. That's why when you cry, Mum tells you to be quiet.. And when I cry, Mum picks me up and feeds me..

Aza: ....!!!!

Aza: Look, Sis.. I can touch my ear and drink my milk at the same time.. Hee hee..


Kyra: Yeah.. So..???

I'm small and cute, but.. He's big and strong.. You know!

So.. Don't mess with me, unless you want to face my big brother.. !

Deep talk..

Kyra: I'm so upset.. I'm so GRRRRR.. you know?!

Ariq: Ah, you'll be fine, little sister.. Just take a look at me, and you will start laughing again.. :-)

Definitely not my genes.. :-P

(left to right: big knife, Christmas tree and keris)

Aza suddenly asked me if he could use Kyra's nail scissors (it is the little scissors to cut baby's nails, not the clipper thing). First I said 'NO', but then I realized that if I kept doing that, he would only be more curious and he would start trying to get the scissors when I wasn't looking.

So, I told him he could  use the scissors as long as he doesn't take it away. He agreed to use it to cut a piece of paper while sitting on the floor near me..

After a couple of minutes (if not a few seconds), I was really surprised when he showed me these three objects.. (I am very sure that he did not have any kind of writing tools with him).. I asked him how he drew the objects, and he confidently answered, "I didn't draw them.. I just cut them! A big knife, a 'keris' (Javanese traditional knife) and a coconut tree like in 'Home Alone' movie." .. I'm very sure he meant Christmas tree from the movie ;-)

WOW!

Have any of you seen a silhouette artist? I mean, the people who can cut a piece of black paper while looking at you facing sideways and the piece of paper would come out to be a silhouette image of you? Well, I have seen one while he was working and I think it was amazing how a person can do such thing..

Aza could actually visualize the things he wants to make from the paper and cut them into shape without drawing them on the paper first.. WOW!

I was speechless.. completely speechless.. until he asked me, "Mum, can I show these to the fish in the pond?"

I shook my head and replied, "Well, you shouldn't. If the fish swallow them, they will die."

Aza asked again, "But I can just put it on the ground next to the pond."

I tried to answer as calm as possible not to disappoint him, "If you put it on the ground, the fish cannot see them, because fish can only see the things that are in the water.. But if you put the shapes in the water, the shapes will be wet and ruined and if the fish swallow them, they will die."

Aza finally gave up and just asked me to trim his nails and let me have the nail cutter back.. but I don't feel that it was the point in the whole thing anymore.. :-)

One last thing.. please don't ever ask me to cut shapes directly from a piece of paper! I can assure you I can never achieve the shape I'm meant to have.. ;-) If this is a talent Aza inherits.. it is definitely from me! It is definitely not my genes.. :-)

The end of my absence..

"Have a lot of rests and increase your food intake!" That's the line the doctor always said to me for the final trimester of my pregnancy period.

The baby was fine.. the heart rate was strong, the umbilical cord was neatly positioned on top of the baby, and the baby was already head down. However, the baby's weight, though steadily increasing, was not increasing as much as it should.

My mind could not go anywhere else but towards the baby I was carrying.. I was a little worried, but trying not to let my worrying take away my nutrition.. :-) I tried to stay calm and relaxed, I only did things that I found exciting and fun.. I tried to eat healthy food and had a lot of rests (a little too much, maybe)..

I could not write any stories or poems.. I could not even put words together into this journal.. My mind was too focused on my little baby.. although at so many times, when I found myself a little over-worried, I could almost hear the baby whispered to me, "Don't worry, Mum.. I'm fine.." Every time it happened, I took a deep breath and assured myself that everything was fine.. my baby was fine.. :-)

On the 39th week the doctor said, "Is there any possibility that we miscalculated your ETD? Your baby's weight looks like -2 weeks.."

I replied, "Could be, Doc.. Is the baby alright?"

The doctor answered confidently, "Oh yes, the baby is fine.. The baby's heart rate is strong, and it is active. All the vital organs look fine too.. It's just the baby looks very slim for its age.. We'll wait and see next week. Have a lot of rests and increase your intake."

I replied, "I don't know how much more I can increase my intake, Doc.. I eat until I can't see food anymore.. I have put on 20kgs as it is.."

The doctor smiled, "Everything looks fine.. Don't worry.. We'll check the baby again next week."

On the 40th week, the doctor said, "Your water is still clear, a lot and intact. Let's give the baby as much time as possible to give it a chance to put on as much weight as possible."

On the 41st week, Monday, 17th May 2010 at dawn.. I felt the contraction. Still mild, but not false ones anymore.. I asked my husband to take me to my parents' house (the hospital was near my parents' house) before morning rush hour started. We left right away. My husband got ready for work at my parents' and the same thing with me, before we went to the hospital.

My husband and my parents stayed with me during the observation session. When the midwife told us that there was an 'opening' already, my husband quickly arranged for a paternal leave from work.

What I thought would be a midday birth, turned out to be a whole day wait at the hospital.. :-) The opening stayed the same until the 5 pm that afternoon! The doctor let me decide whether to wait or be induced. I decided to be induced before I lost more strength, because I could not sleep between contractions. At 7 pm, after dinner and a shower, I was moved into the delivery theater and the midwife started the drip on me. My husband left to have dinner while my parents stayed with me.

For almost half an hour being on the drip, the contraction and the baby's movements were still happening at different times. I was preparing myself to face a few hours of increasing contraction strength. Nearly 7.30 pm, around the time when the midwife came to increase the drip, I felt the contraction and the baby's movements were becoming synchronized. The midwife left to report to the doctor, she told me she would come back at 8.00 pm for the next check and to increase the drip again. My parents' turn to have dinner as my husband was back.

After the midwife left, I was just talking to my husband (in-between breaths and contractions).. Closing to 8.00 pm, I felt the contractions were escalating, and suddenly, my breathing could not contain the situation anymore. My water broke, and I told my husband to call for the midwife. He called the midwife and then called my parents on the phone. The midwife quickly called the doctor who, at that time, was in the middle of practice hours. The doctor quickly came into the theater.

Quickly, the nurses/midwives prepped me, but before the doctor could put on her coat, before the grandmother entered the theater, the baby had already decided that it was her time to come out.. :-) So, she did! A beautiful baby girl.. She was little (2,410 gr and 47 cm), but her cry was loud, her heartbeat was strong and her kicks were firm.. All my worries just disappeared once I heard her cry and felt her kicks as I was holding her.

We named her 'Adinda Shafia Kirana'. Adinda (Indonesian) means little sister, Shafia (Arabic) means cooling/soothing, and Kirana (Indonesian) means beautiful.

The pediatrician was puzzled on why Kyra was healthy yet so little. However, since she was doing fine, the pediatrician decided she could go home on the 2nd day (Wednesday). My doctor decided the same thing. After being visited by Ariq and Aza on Tuesday night, once they left, I felt very lonely in the hospital room.. So, when I received the news that we could go home, I asked my husband to check us out, and he gladly did (he really wanted his time with his baby daughter without the limits of visiting hours, etc. :-P ..)


Kyra is now four weeks old (almost one month old). She feeds well and has nicely put some weight on. I am very happy about it. We will see the pediatrician again next Friday, and I hope he is also happy with her development.

Now that my mind is free of over-worrying (no one can blame me for worrying a little every now and then, though..), I decided to end my absence in this virtual world by writing this post. I don't know how often I can write for now, as I am still going through changes and enjoying my precious time of early nursing period when Kyra and I are almost 'an item', but I still enjoy writing and blogging.. I just have to take it easy for a while (I took several breaks in writing this post)..

Anyway, it feels really nice to be writing again.. and it is really nice to be among all of you again.. :-)

See you later.. :-)

This is Kyra, 2 weeks old.


(The picture on the top of the post is Kyra, 1 day old)